People who can't park are the stupidest, laziest, most useless group of people on the planet. Honestly, how hard is it to manuever your car into the box marked helpfully for you by BRIGHTLY PAINTED LINES?! Parking is by far and away the simplest aspect of driving, and yet I'm amazed that so many people manage to screw it up on a daily basis.
But, to be fair, there is a scale when it comes to parking difficulty, and it goes like this, from easiest to hardest:
-Angle parking
-Perpendicular parking
-Parallel parking
(And that's not just my thoughts on parking difficulty, them's the facts -- I learned that in driver's ed. That's about one of the only things I remember from that class. Anyway, I digress).
Now, my main beef is with the asshats who can't handle the angle parking.....uh, angle. It's the absolute EASIEST way to park!!! You don't even have to think about it. Your car practically does everything for you -- and you don't even need one of those fancy new self-parking Lexuses. ALL one has to do is turn the wheel ever so slightly, and boom. Done. Car is parked. HOW is this difficult? How do some people STILL manage to park outside of the lines in this type of parking lot? I think a monkey could angle-park a car.
Now then, onto perpendicular parking. Significantly less difficult than parallel parking, but apparently, some people still have trouble with this one as it requires more steering-wheel-turning than angle parking. Clearly, people can't handle that, either. God forbid anyone figure out how to properly swing their car out one way and then turn back into the spot so that they're able to able to pull straight in, without having to do that irritating back-out/readjust/make everyone-waiting-behind-you-to-park-wait-some-more thing. Nor can they figure out how to place their cars into the middle of the spot. Again, you get the people whose cars are half in one spot, half in another. Better yet are the ones in the lines yet so far over to one side that you can't even open the door if you pull in next to them. Stupid fucks.
As for the hardest level, I've got nothing against people who can't parallel park. That shit IS hard. It's not just natural. Why this type of parking space exists is beyond me. It's stupid. I can't do it myself -- yet, I actively avoid situations or streets where I know I would have to parallel park. Rather than look like a jackass and aggravate other drivers, I just steer clear. It's a shame other parkers can't extend the same courtesy when they're unable to park their vehicles.
And those are my parking grievances.
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4 comments:
HOW, praytell, did I miss this? Sheer genius, Sass. Sheer genius.
I have all sorts of beefs about parkers. Mostly the idiots in big trucks who purposely take up two or more spaces. Once, there was a guy who did that at a movie theater parking lot on a Friday night. Parking was at a premium, and this idiot was parked diagonally across two and a half spaces.
Unfortunately for him, he was driving a company truck with a phone number painted on the door. I called and aired my grievances to his boss. :)
HAHA! That's wonderful! We've (the royal we, the editorial we) left not-so-nice notes in those kinds of instances. I didn't really go into that category of intentional over-the-liners, otherwise this entry could have gone on for eons. But yeah, those people suck.
I have to admit though, sometimes, I've purposely taken up more than one space just so no one would park near me -- HOWEVER, I made sure to do it as far away from the door as possible, and it was never during any sort of "busy" season or time of day. That's just wrong.
Then the years past, my car wasn't so new or nice anymore, and I stopped caring about who parked near me. But I still get irritated when I park far away and I come out and there is someone right on top of my car.
YET ANOTHER PARKING GRIEVANCE!
It's much like when you're on the train--or IN the movie theater, for that matter--and there's plenty of room and someone chooses to sit next to you anyway??
Don't get me started about movie theater etiquite. We'll be here all night.
Precisely.
Good call on movie theater etiquette though. I see a blog entry in your future on that! I'm already planning on tackling elevator etiquette in the next series of posts, so if I start in with movie theaters, this blog will turn into a sassier "Miss Manners." Or something.
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